In the last week of my mother’s life we always had her favourite music on and were able to lie and sit with her and tell her how much she was loved. Her last words were “‘Love is what life is all about”. Those words warmed my heart and carry me through my grief. What also helps my grief is knowing that we did all we could to make her days comfortable, calm and loving. All her wishes were fulfilled and it was a true honour and privilege to be with her through her palliative journey with a wonderful GP and the residential aged care staff to care for her so beautifully.

I’m still alive but have limited life.
Medical team are giving me quality time,
All I want to be is a good enough dancer for someone to really enjoy partnering me ❤️💃🏻
Beside my children, the Dance Club and teachers love and keep me going.
The Drs do what they can for me to achieve my dream, the Dance Club and my children help me to fulfill it.
They show and tell me how much I’m loved and that’s what I need while I’m still alive. Too late once I’m gone.
That’s a very important part of the process, as it’ll be forever cherished ❤️

I recently visited a palliative family member overseas and was astounded by the impact of the compassionate community around her. Simple tasks like cooking meals, to complex tasks like assisting with hospital visits, made a world of difference in her palliative care journey ❤️

After my Mum’s 90th birthday, she said she was sad that she was closer to death than to life. So we decided to make a fun challenge out of it. 91 shared cups of coffee outings before her 91st birthday. Well, we got to 107 cups of coffee in the end (and almost as many slices of cream cake). When mum was passing, simply being able to hold hands beside the bed was a small act that meant a huge deal to us both.

My Dad is a Worimi saltwater person. While in palliative care, he started to act out his totem, the crocodile given to him from his grandfather’s country the Gaagudju of the Kakadu region. For many, this might have been seen as an action related to his condition, rather than cultural. Cultural Safety is paramount. When first nations people can be in situations where their cultural cues and experiences are understood and embraced. Seek that support. Just because you might be at the ceiling of treatment, doesn’t mean you’ve reached the ceiling of care or the ceiling of supporting all aspects of a person’s wellbeing.

When my father was dying, he mentioned that there were things he wished he could say, or talk about with myself and the family, but that he didn’t have the courage to. So I suggested using a tape recorder, so that next time he was alone, he could record some messages for people in the family. Those recordings taught me some things about my father that I’d never known until then. I understand him now, better than I did when he was still here, and that’s brought me an invaluable experience of closure.